Here I file this petition to God, the almighty that please return her to me…if not then atleast ensure her happiness and safety where ever her soul is !!
Few moths back I was in a real dilemma ; a real fix that whether I was in love or not. As time passed I walked through this beautiful journey and realised that to love someone is different from to be in love with. Then I read this
“When you love someone, you share your thoughts with them. But when you’re in love with them, you share your thoughts not just to share your thoughts, but to share theirs too. You feel them wherever you go in every place, person, and knowable thing.”
I tried to relate it with what I was experiencing, then I thought that sometimes its good to be in such doubts because all doubts after being solved might not give suitable conclusions…Confusion increased eventually and I started feeing her presence everywhere, wherever I go or in whatever I do; even to the extent that I was not being able to find my self without her..
The attraction was palpable; it was magnetic. The world stands still when she was around me, and my whole being becomes live. .I was missing her every second of my life. I was by then sure that I was IN LOVE !!
So I decided to “confess” to her because I was very clear with the feelings I have for her and I was not appologetic at all. .I knew that i can love, but sometimes that love may not be returned but that’s not my fault. To love or not to love is a choice. I chose to love she might chose not to. I was not weak rather, I have the courage. of being vulnerable and self-sacrificing; a pivotal requirement for love.
One day I called her up and someone else picked up the phone, when i enquiredabout her , he told me that she died few days back….It stopped my breath, I was choked, could think of what to do then, I was full of regrets. The very day I went to her place and it was my first visit. I just kept on looking at her picture.because that was all I have, every moment of my life was stopped by then. All I wanted was to get back her.. I cannot explain the devastation I was going through. I have wanted her to come back, to have our life together that we were meant to have — and failing that, I want nothing more than to die.
If there is no such thing as an afterlife, then I still hope I die as soon as possible so that this horrific pain of missing her will be over.
People say often asked me to move on, but neither I want to nor I would be able to because i still can hear her voice, her smile, her scolds, her bugs bunny teeth which used to flash when she used to laugh, her eyes which were as deep as oceans but used to shrinken when used to smile., My life cannot be defined without her being. Moreover, the worst thing about all of this is not knowing if her soul still exists, as it should.
I finally chose to live with her memories to continue the battle. I will keep talking to her, I will keep her alive within me and wait for the final judgment which is pending in the highest court of Law
I demand justice!!!