Rediscovered Myself in Her Happiness!!

     It all began with a good morning
wish, which I received from her that day
   I was happy not only because she
wished me, but also because I felt that
   I got a friend after a long time of
secluded life after graduation, the kind
    of life I was leading was pathetic
Am not going to use my mother’s death
    as an excuse but the situation in
my house, my dad, all of a sudden had
   became very weak and pessimistic
about life.. I have always seen him as a
strong man facing all problems alone
But today, I see a man who is breaking
   down gradually, crying loud before
my mother’s collage which consist of
   pictures from her school days!!!
I have decided tho join the civil services
   when I was in university, final year
But as I encountered with this phase of
    at the age of 24, I postponed the
idea of taking up this service by a year
I was doing a job in the mean time and
   took a leave for a year to join some
coaching institute in Calcutta with only
   one purpose in my mind and that
was tho clear the exam in my first try..
   I was focused from my mind but
I was broken from inside… I did not had
       a vent…. all my friends were far
away from me in places like Mumbai,
       Delhi, Assam, Hyderabad, H. P.
And frankly speaking, distances some
-times. Everyday after classes I used
to come back home to read but most of
   the time I could not, I was not able tho believe that my mom is no more… But
   I knew that I cannot afford tho cry
especially before my dad, so emotions
  got accumulated everyday!! It was
unbearable, I was grown up overnight..
  During that period, for almost eight
months our domestic helper went to her
   village and I used tho do all most
every household work apart from the
  cooking  part, which was taken
care of  by my dad. It was so painful
  when I used to look at him preparing
the breakfast and lunch… for me.. So
   I decided to have my lunch outside
and told him not to prepare anything for
   me..but unfortunately there was no
hygienic food stall near the vicinity of
  the coaching and I started skipping
my lunch,……I used to see my friends
   having their lunch in group and
they often asked me to join them, but I
  never joined them. I didn’t have anything to share apart from pain so I
  decided to hide my hunger in the
garb of dieting and stuff… which they
   believed. I often used to buy apples
almost everyday… Things were moving
  going on, and I was moving closer
to my goal. I have joined my masters
  course in law by then and was into
both of this simultaneously……I didn’t
   know what is going to unfold next..
Within a year on my mother’s death, my
  dad was caught with a chronic pain
and doctors confirmed it to be a 9mm
gallstone..which need to be severed
as soon as possible… At the age of 70
with diabetics, it was not an easy
task as the doctors report and it was
  certainly not easy for me to digest
yet another loss…feeling of being an
   orphan had a very harsh impact
on my behavior. Feeling all alone once
  again. I was losing trust in almighty.

On the day of the operation, I got a text
   asking about the present condition
and how things are unfolding… It was
   she who remembered the date of
the surgery and supported me when I
  needed it the most… She was an
angel, she supported me throughout, &
   It was she, who knew that I was not
taking care of myself, and skipping my
  lunch everyday almost.. When she
get to know about the reason, she even
   said that “it won’t be a problem to carry an extra lunch box”… After a very
   long time I have experienced such warmth and support…I found myself to
    be very lucky… Slowly my studies
got improved, I was like getting back to
    track…. She helped me in studies,
she gave me a time table which was to
    be followed and joint studies was
going well…I rarely missed a single day
  to wish her good morning..she be me
a earplug which we used to put it on &
     study whenever there used to be a boring class…. In a very days we had a
   great time debating, arguing, all the
time. We used to sit together in the ….
    class spending hours of serious
studies and in break, we used to debate
   have ice creams, she made me realise what life is all about, how time
     heal everything, she used to show her writings on her blog and this way I
    got interested in writing… With her
I went to a church…. along with another
   student… We were there hardly for
give mins but we were very happy…the
    smile and joy that I saw in her face
will be treasured forever..I never used to
   celebrate my birthday specially after
my 10th class… And after 7-8 yrs , I did
     participated in celebrating her
birthday, then I didn’t disclosed but now
    I can afford to…that the entire planning of how to celebrate, what gifts
    to be purchased, even the flavor of
the cake…. And I really enjoyed doing all
    those because what I did was from the core of my heart. The best part was
the rain which then created a problem
for me because I was searching for the
   cake and not carrying an umbrella..
But today it gave me so pleasure when I
  recollect those events… I was given a budget for the cake and gift but it wasn’t
    enough to buy another book that I
wanted her to read, so I decided to
  buy the book but said that there  was an offer of 50% in Mani Square Mall..
   and I finally convinced others…
And kept that secret to myself. But it
   a great fun, even the Gazzal DVD
a story, which was also a part of the gift
   It was all fun, I rediscovered myself
in someone’s else smile & happiness….

The story I would continue later…in the second part!!

Loads of love and respect for her


11 thoughts on “Rediscovered Myself in Her Happiness!!”

  1. Your story brought tears to my eyes 🙂

    I wish you, your dad, your friend, all health, love, prosperity, light and happiness 🙂

    You are a very genuine writer who writes from heart and that is why it moves heart 🙂

    Love and light ❤


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Whenever I read your blog posts, I used to think that why do you concentrate on her so much, instead of moving on.. But this is the answer to all the questions which were running through my mind… God bless her for comforting a sad heart.. There are not many people in this world who take out time for the sad ones.. She is truly a special person and she deserves this love!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you so much …
      for this support, i was actually thinking of droping the next part because its going to be really a tragic and open ended story will bring tears..
      but Now i will surely do it…
      a big thank you to you for this support !!
      God bless !!


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