I may not be there yet but I am closer to you than I was yesterday!! I always wanna thank those who used to tell me ” text he when you reach home safely ”
I know this line is often used by many, but I mean it…. I always used to tell her and she used tho respond also…
For everyday, without fail, I used to tell her and every time she used tho respond… Until I get the call or text from her side I used to wait in the bus stop leaving all the buses that I was suppose to take to reach home on time…
On being asked by my dad about being late, I used to say that classes are getting longer with every passing day…. I knew that I was not convincing enough but I continued….
If some day she used to forget to text me, I used to get panic for the entire day…. I later realised that may be I was over doing things but all I did because I was not at all ready to take chances when it comes to her safety, & health… I could really feel the pain when she suffers even a small scratch !!!
I was thinking all this not because she was weak but I consider myself to be weak, weak enough that if something happens to her, I would not be able to handle!!
After months of interactions, I realised that it’s hard not to love her, it’s hard not to take care and even difficult to live without her !!
It was not your fault, because you always wanted time and space, you always expressed your inability to reciprocate but I decided to trust your decision and held onto it!!
After not being in touch for a couple of months I understood that my heart will not survive any longer, almost every moment my heart skipped a beat when I saw you in my dreams, when I feel your presence constantly..
I know that the three letters of love doesn’t really mean that I you to be mine because I don’t believe in possession… I will always be happy tho see you happy even with someone else….
Today, talking to god, I realised that all the gods were sleeping, when I asked for her, because I’d they were heard me praying for her all the time, they must have understood these pain..
No matter how loud I laugh, I ‘m still not happy, no matter how hard I cry, the pain inside grows…
Yes she was correct saying that I have my goals, my dreams tho achieve, my family and friends who loves me, but yet the more people love me, the more I feel empty. I just need your presence for all my pains to go.. all my dreams have will have a meaning only your presence in my life..
Hopefully one day you will understand and appreciate the pain an suffering through yet not in a mood to give up
because it’s not possible for me to select between my life and you !!
Loads of love and respect for you will always be there for you.