The more I think of you, the more it becomes difficult for me to accept the reality that you have moved on, rather you were not there at the first place, if I could put it like this… But I strongly believe that its all because you were not ready for this now or may be I asked for it too early !!!
I have realised that I gave emulated you so much that I have started thinking like the way you used to think, from not using a wrist watch, umbrella to the way you used tho hold the pen… I mean everything !! Writing blog post is yet another example where I stated expressing my raw emotions without any sort of blend.
Living life has become really difficult with the thought of your absence . you have transformed me from nothing to something, following your suggestions I have developed a good relation with my family members. In fact the moment I got the result, I went to most of their places tho apologise for all my activities and behavior…
All this happened because of you.. I don’t know how to express myself, by love and respect for you..
You have made me realise that life is book full of stories and followed experiences, we need to move through chapters one by one but we cannot, rather we should not close the book altogether !!!
But the way things have changed I failed to change along with it, and I believe that it won’t be possible for me tho change to this extent that I could forget all the memories I have with me.
I know that until I come out of this, things will get worsen when it comes tho my career but selecting between my career and you, your thoughts is really an ethical dilemma where both are correct and I have to pick up any one among this two.
Mains exams are approaching fear with every second, an badly missing your time table this time, but I am sure you must be busy with your work.. but the moment you will read this post you might realise and understand what you mean to me…. because you had them you wouldn’t have hurt me this way and to this extent !!
With time I started losing faith & self belief, I caged myself within the memories and agreed living in the past. I curse myself, I hated myself like anything… But something happened yesterday, something very strange that I have never thought of it before…
I believe that this magic is only possible in the world of e WordPress where everyone shares their experiences and appreciates others… Yesterday, I received some comments that were enough to make me realise my worth, at least for a moment I smiled, for the past few days I have been talking with Jennifer and Bhavya ( two beautiful souls) and they made me realise the same and also encouraged me saying that even she would be happy if she got to know about my success and my happiness in the similar way I would react tho her happiness… and pain ….
I realised that it doesn’t matter what’s your age is, gender is, ..when it comes to understand basics about life from someone else… consider yourself to be blessed by people around…..
Finally, I want to confess that, come what may, my life is yours, my success is yours, by happiness is yours… Will never let your memories fade, its deep inside my heart…. the only change will be that I will use it as my strength, your live as my power, to prove myself worthy enough so that I could approach you afresh !!!
Loads of love and respect