I have seen something in my dream last night which I would like to share. It was something wherein I was writing a letter to my beloved after 15 years …. saying
that my final hour has come. I look at the eastern sky. A day breaks, red as rise. You rise late these days. That’s normal. After all, you have been married for just few months 🙂 🙂 I am really very happy for you !
Earlier you would wake up even before dawn. I used to wake up with your text.. saying ” gm “… We would plan our visit to class together after our initial everyday chit chat ….
How can I forget you so easily ??How can I wash off those bruises that have left me numb over the months.. The way we used to walk long in admiration of each other.. 🙂
I would not forget how godly you looked in the swift wash of moonlight. That look of your eyes used to unnerved me.
Your face and reaction when you used tho wait for me before during the test sessions…. Something deep inside me knew that the moment you would walk out of my life, I would die too… Its a miracle that I have survived for 15 years !!!
I failed to find the best that I was looking for. So I wept till it soaked you and the moonlight melted in those tears.
I used to look up to see your eyes filled with tears several times in class … and I accuse myself for not being with you for so long especially when you needed the most…. Even though I was made helpless but I literally felt your tears kiss my forehead, my cheeks every time you cried in the last 15 Years !!!
I have been making a garland in my mind ask these years and tonight I ask the moon to witness as I garland you.
As my final moments just arrived, my thoughts are going out if control, going astray. I am not able to connect my thoughts well, but I have to write to get my deliverance.
I used to be the first one to read your stories, at least to recently. I used to feel the peace and happiness you used to feel with abrupt endings of your stories or I should say open ended stories.
I have lost the thread of my story one again. My thoughts are escaping me all the time. The experience of being treated by people with an attitude of charitable disdain made me write this letter after a long..I belong to nowhere and that sums up my 40 year of life.
This world, the sun, the Moon are my witness that how much I loved you.. And I would repeat a million times that I have always considered you my soulmate.
Perhaps I am a curse to your life…. But I have see the romance of dark clouds in your eyes when pinned at me..I am all starved of love and caress in my life..I felt a sharp pain deep inside me…
My heart, I have never lied to you, I have not taken the recourse to deception….
I am fulfilled. There is no reason why should I continue to live having lost that love which I used to observed in your eyes…
A sharp pain spread in my veins.. Did you not think of me even once in the last fifteen years ?? Those lines of your poems have traces of that love!!
My door is closed today I have shut it to the world. You will open it after I die. But I will be there in those lines of your poems on love, on those definitions of relationship.
I will vanish into nothingness, but I don’t think that you were responsible for that.. Its my ill fate which I will blame.. But no sin can touch me now as I go beyond all this holy !!!
I cannot ask you to remember me as I have lost all.. Only one thing is not lost- my love for you… trust me ….I still love you very much !!!
Then suddenly my alarm rang and I woke up…pat myself, then I pinched myself to realize that I am still alive to live another day in grief !!! Whether I was happy of being alive or not is still unresolved ..
Loads of love and respect for her as always 🙂