Being emotionally fit….
This is the basic principle that perhaps determine the fate of every relationship and the question is how emotionally fit we are in a relationship??
Although I have a very little experience to write something on relationships but, I have understood something in the past 7 months and will cherish it in the years to come….
There are parents who make people emotionally unfit, depressed, frustrated, angry and perhaps because there is a lack of common sense, but there are also some parents who make people compassionate, playful, emotionally strong, sensitive and generous… Only because they do have the bare minimum common sense that is required !!!
Common sense is not so common !!! There is a difference between knowing and understanding… Understanding would not change anything unless we actually do it by ourselves, it won’t come only by writing, reading or talking…
There are films which portrays that the couples are facing huge challenges and how they overcome them, but what is important to showcase those couple who have gone through beyond the edge and there is no way to look back..
Discipline never works for long term…. what works is the addiction to something which is positive… a positive addiction for the other. This addiction and obsession for someone is what true love is without any sort of horse trading…So if we want to make this change and want stability we need to master our emotions and if we do not then just forget it, there is no hope…. It’s easy to do, but you need to know how, and it’s not taught anywhere !! You have to take risk and act on practically…
Life is all about leadership and being truthful to yourself, so I believe that the mandate for any great relationship is to see things as they are and not worst than they are… Being scared of failure, being rejection, is the worst possible step… this makes things worst…. So I took the courage to pursue my love; I am still trying and keeping my hope alive…
Those who believe in not trying, who are being pessimistic are actually gut less…. And actually it takes no courage to be pessimistic, to say it’s not going to work out, to search what is wrong…. Well it’s easy to search wrong, it’s always available … 🙂 so to see things worst, or believe it to be impossible is actually not true at all… True love always find its own route… 🙂
The second thing required to make relationships a success is, I believe that always see better than it is.. There is no vision, I mean, every part of human life need a compelling future… So if today it is tough but if the future is compelling then we can get there… Similarly what I am persuading myself that I will hold her hands till I die; dreaming about to have a great life with my beloved and working on it…. And also the fear that if something goes wrong then the drive to live happily will perish….
And finally, the third step is to make it, the way you see it.. People have this tendency of thinking or making things complex, it gives a sense of being sophisticated… 😉 it’s better to make complex things into simpler form because at the end of the day we need to live…rather than proving that we are somebody!! It doesn’t help !!
True love is perhaps a feeling for her, knowing fully well that there is no guarantee whether I would be able to meet her again.. It’s her presence that made all these changes … It’s the presence that can make things work. We need to present in our 100% when we are with our beloved because that builds connection…
We need to accept this fact and understand that women and men have different way of thinking, it’s nature… Women are very good at multitasking, women talks so many things at a go… the brain of women is like that, they take a whole big vision at one go.. Although, I have learned some basic level of multitasking from her.. but she is far ahead of many experts.. 🙂
Whereas, men can take one thing at a time… Absolute presence helps women to open up.. There is nothing more powerful than presence when it comes tho true love… When we were together, there is no single moment that I could remember when I have taken her for granted; always gave so much importance and attention which she deserved… that I remember everything whatever she spoke, her likes, dislikes, her dreams …everything. Today I am left with those memories and always praying for her success and dreams… Just want her to know that there will be one person who will be praying for you always, without fail throughout his life and beyond as she believed in life after death !!!!
Most women certainly liked to be pleased but they don’t want a pleaser. She also believed so.. She used to say that if there is no conflict of opinion between two people every time then surely one of them is an idiot…. However, we used to debate lot, be it in the class room or while walking on the road….. and absolutely in carefree manner.. Sometimes, we are been watched by others while debating loudly .. 🙂
Self awareness is one of the most important virtues of human being... It’s important to evaluate ourselves.. For the last 7 months I have been writing about love, care, relationship and all… But I mean by love??
Well there are four kinds of love…
One that is something like a baby love, that brat like love, it is not love !! It’s a demand.. Price to be paid for this kind of love is that, people can never be happy…. They constantly judge the other one whenever the demands are not fulfilled…
The other is the one similar to horse trading, where one person keep supporting the other, here one gives with the intention of getting back something… not saying that explicitly but in the back of their mind they get pissed off if they don’t get anything in return… It’s not love either.. When we love somebody, we give our beloved anything, anything that is within our reach… without any expectation.
Third level of love is true love, where one is giving because he cares for the other, there is no competition, only the feeling of creating a comfort zone and making the other person happy.. their smile matters the most.. and not because to get anything back or to give them back what they have received earlier…. there is no balance sheet to maintained : the only thing that drives this is the feeling, withholding your love is the only thing that pains, whenever you think that you are punishing someone by withholding your love, you are punishing yourself, so the only way is you give them the love which is pure and without any reciprocity…. I am actually feeling this right now and perhaps I am moving to the next level because I admire my love so much that I am getting spiritually connected to get soul….
The fourth level, it’s a spiritual love, you love them even you are not near to them, you love them even if they hurt you…. It’s the highest level of love… It’s something which is spiritually connected !!!
In life, we all go up and down this ladder at times. But the secret is, where is the center of gravity?? I have mine and I wish someday she will understand this as I understand her now….
I am only following the rule of CAN I, (which means that Constant And Never Ending Improvement) in improving my relationship because I cannot afford to lose my life that resides in her existence…
Each day I consistently and without fail, praise the abilities, the great, fantastic, awesome, unique aspects of her… It gives me high amount of satisfaction… wish I could express this feeling in a better way….
At the end of the day, I have realized that it’s important to be in love than to be right !!! It’s okay to be scared, but you have to get out there, open up and love !!!
Loads of love and respect 🙂
P.S. Please forgive me if I have hurt privacy, or emotions of people around at any point in time in this post …. It is not at all intentional but an honest expression of my raw feelings & emotions !!