Learning Through Stories !!


At the international conference in NUJS on criminal law and victimology..

Let me tell you that victimology is the study of victimization , including the relationships between victims and offenders, the interactions between victims and the criminal Justice system that is, the police, courts & corrections officials — & the connections between victims and other social groups and institutions, such as the media, businesses, and social movements.

Victimology is however not restricted to the study of victims of crime alone but may include other forms of human rights violations. ( as per Wikipedia)…

I talked about the issue of separating the notion of honor from the gender specific crimes… I am writing about this issue for three reasons ..

One, is the latest judgement on kamduni (WB) gang rape case, the second, is the recent celebration of republic day in West Bengal and finally, the woman (40) I met in morning walk yesterday..

“Rape is horrible. But it is not horrible for all the reasons that have been drilled into the heads of women. It is horrible because you are violated, you are scared, someone else takes control of your body and hurts you in the most intimate way. It is not horrible because you lose your “virtue.” It is not horrible because your father and your brother are dishonored. I reject the notion that my virtue is located in my vagina, just as I reject the notion that men’s brains are in their genitals.”

“We can take honor out of the equation, rape will still be horrible, but it will be a personal, and not a societal, horror. We will be able to give women who have been assaulted what they truly need: not a load of rubbish about how they should feel guilty or ashamed, but empathy for going through a terrible trauma.”
– – INDIAN QUOTES with Jyoti Thomas

Sharing this story, I would like to relate it with the latest judgement in the kamduni (WB) gang rape case. After two and a half years later…all the accused have been convicted excepting two due to lack of evidence and the sentence was about to come by today…

Can I say justice is delivered? Well I don’t think so because anything less than death penalty would be an injustice… especially when I came to know yesterday that one of the convicts after he was coming out of the court room, had threatened the family saying that he would kill them in the same way as he killed their daughter (first year college going girl)…

After being raped, the victim is only wounded; their honor is not… It’s a crime that demands a fight back and not to be stigmatized !!

The family is in trauma They are scared of the fact that if he gets a punishment which is in the nature that he could come out on bail or parole, then they may have to face the music…. only because they have fought for justice, fought for their daughter!!!


This is the face !!!!  No shame, no guilt !!
Instead, threaten the family just after the conviction !!

Second is the republic day celebration in West Bengal. “A vulgar dance show was organised by TMC Chatra Parishad in Gariahat Industrial Training Institute (ITI) as part of the programme to welcome the freshers to the institution.

The video footage of the vulgar dance show with the picture of TMC supremo in the background has sparked off a controversy with several intellectuals condemning the incident”…… (Deccan Herald)

These are the values we see commonly around our society. The institutionalized form of devaluing the worth of the term “respect” and perhaps this is the reason for crimes against women are being institutionalized… There is no shame or guilt at all amongst people who are the celebrating in this fashion… Many of them said that ” in independence day we have a right tho celebrate ” can you believe this !!!

Finally, the last reason,  I met a woman (40 ) yesterday while returning from morning walk… I knew her, seen her almost everyday, we know each other only through smiles which we used to exchange!!  Yesterday she was returning all alone..  looked sad, I asked her about it and she said that she is tired of a constant fight with her mind…. She is tired of being perfect. Well, I couldn’t understand anything at that moment apart from the fact that she was really upset with something…

Just to change the topic , I asked her whether she feel sleepy just after  reaching home every morning after this 5km walk as I do ??  She replied strongly… she said.. “can I afford it?? Being born as a woman I am assigned with some stereotype jobs… roles are been assigned to us without looking at our likes and dislikes… I have to go to home, then to kitchen and will have to perform all the households work, then got to go to the office…. and often all this is not recognized by my family”

It was really sad, this is a clear symbol of agony and pain. In this small conversation with a stranger like me,  she yelled out in such a way which shows the amount of disgust she was carrying with her like many others for a long time!!

Break these stereotype rules, I said and live for yourself  at least for one day and then see the change… She smile and walked away.. I don’t know whether she act upon my request or not…

But I would like to say that please treat every human being equally and don’t take live and sacrifice for granted. Even Supreme Court  was forced to come out with a judgement which talked about giving a fixed money to every housewives as a part of recognition for their sacrifices and not to take them for granted !!!

At times, a long neglect and not  being recognized for whatever sacrifice you make, for whatever amount of love you give, and at the same time you are not allowed to move out of such a situation is very much painful and insulting… The society we live in, is worst than slavery, I can relate it with bondage labor too as per the definition given by Supreme Court in PUCL v Union of India.

All the three stories have different degree of agony, pain and disgust ; different perspective but the victim being the same… We really should do something !!! We can do small things to bring big changes.. a little bit of sensitivity and love is required which is not a big deal… C’mon guys!!

Thank you
Loads of love and respect…
Beparvah !!


20 thoughts on “Learning Through Stories !!”

  1. Your articles are not just eye openers, but they instil a sense of utter self confidence & positivity in the mind of the reader. In this case, Indian reader.

    I, really must say, that every post that you draft has always a great amount of wisdom to it. The way you dissect & offer us the truth is par excellence!

    Thank you for being the wave of positivity we all need. 👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for appreciating.. To be at honest, I just write what I feel and am really happy that I have contributed something….
      Thank you to you for supporting..
      And thanks to her who turned an idiot into someone who can write a little..
      Your comment means a lot 🙂
      Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is high time we as a society break the gender based stereotypes, start taking individuals (both men and women) for what they are instead of placing women on a high pedestal, expecting hem to be perfect in all senses, and punishing them for not being so. A thoughtful post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The problem with rape in most of the countries is, it is considered as a social stigma. A rapist can defile a woman’s body, but he would never be able to violate her honour. In our society, a raped woman is looked upon as if she has done a crime. I can’t understand this! No woman invites rape, even if she wears a short dress or is out alone, she NEVER calls for a rape. I think it’s high time that we should raise our voice against all these, against all stereotyping of women, and of men. We should understand that the world is like a balance, man and woman are placed with equal weight on it… 🙂

    thanks for presenting such a well-written article on these issues…

    Heard about the TMC program….no words!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for Thor constant support.. We are actually late by now… It’s the time for action …I think financial empowerment along with education can do help for the time being…. But the question of mind set is hard to achieve…. I can try from my home… though I am left with no woman in my house…
      Thank you once again 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t understand what kind of pleasure these rapists are getting from a defending woman. Is it just to insult and hurt her? And ultimately the victim is crucified for everything. I just can’t tolerate all these social evils..
    Thanks for sharing this post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sorry for replying late…
      I really don’t think that I have the capacity to understand the animal, inhuman and cruel form of pleasure that these rapists do possess… But any form of mercy debates on them is what I cannot understand… I think it is more than insulting or hurting… It’s something related to express the hardcore patriarchal ideas, it’s about the lack of tolerance among men who cannot accept the empowering and self sustained women power……
      Society is nothing but a composed of these people, so I don’t expect anything….
      Thank you for the constant support !!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great article, Beparvah. What makes it even worse (if that is possible) is that so many so-called intelligent and educated men in so-called civilised societies still seem to think that women are inferior, second class, and virtually the property of men. We have a long, long way to go, still.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Dt do’nt know n respect thier culture and blind fot western cultur.all world admire our culture’s speciality and they r insulted thier own cultre.they will go to hell at last.m i right?plz reply.

        Liked by 1 person

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