My journey begins with all the little preparation and my file which will prove that I have also participated in the rat’s race throughout my academic career ..getting good grades, having degrees and medals with all the possible extra curricular activities in my bag… which is really a burdensome for me to carry an image which I am not !!
Day started!! though I was not about to carry this wrist watch, but I remember that on especial occasions she used to. However, in the interview room we are not suppose to carry anything including watch, pen , mobile etc… This is another way of god’s conspiracy to make me feel her presence in the hall as well… ( I took it that way) !!!!!
With this cup of tea and the book, I started my journey. I deliberatively chosen not to think of the interview, however, in the back of my mind it was only those mock interview sessions that I had attended in Kolkata!!!
My sister said you are not going alone, Maa will always be with you.. I took it very seriously and thought even in the interview room Maa would be there to help me and with this thought I just relaxed for a while and started writing my diary..
In the evening, this bread stick and tomato soup followed by my veg thali, I went to sleep at around 8:40 pm.
Around 2:30 am I woke up and started reading the book I was carrying with me.. She was in my dreams again…. I asked her ” what are you doing in my dreams ” but as usual she didn’t responded but her silence speaks a lot… I stopped sobbing and opened up the book..
It was around 5 o’clock and the sun was about to pop out… The landscape was amazing… Nature can really heal the pain even if it is for a temporary period of time..
The calmness and serenity was the best part of it. I felt the same way back when I used to walk with her along the streets after our classes.. Those were the best days of my life. I was actually discovering myself through her eyes, getting my confidence back with her praises !!!
Thought of looking to the sun rays directly and gain some strength from it, the strength of sacrifice and unrequited blessings and love it had bestowed on nature… Tried to purify my soul !!
Just after the breakfast I took the newspaper from the attendant and was about to read it. After reading the headlines which I was sure that they might ask me in the interview, I skipped the pages of the newspaper and opened the page of Sudoku and puzzle.
She taught me the same and since then I always play this. The first word we have discussed was AVIAN, ( am sure she remembers it) and since then I have never skipped this.. It reminds me of her presence around me which gives me strength & happiness !!
Just after the train arrives in Delhi, my friends in Delhi were ready with their vehicle and they dropped me in the office on their way to court.
Before the interview, this was the first picture I clicked and it was my friend Harsh Vardhan Agarwal who did the rest as his interview was also on the same day. I really don’t care about the result but I had a great and a life time experience facing the esteemed board headed by Mr Sattar Singh.
Standing before the UPSC office at 8:35 am in the morning on 14 of March..
There was rarely anyone whom I could consider my friend initially.. The sense of competition and comparison was all around which I hated the most.. So, I only could click pictures there all alone though I felt her presence by my side every moment…
After I entered from this gate with all sorts of checking and Id check ups, I was mesmerized by the aura this building was surrounded with… I felt really lucky that I could see this through myself and thanks to my family and friends especially my love who made me realize what is right and wrong in every bad phase during the entire route of my preparation…. She was my angel throughout my preparation and will be the same rest of my life!!!
I missed her badly.. I will be writing the the questions whatever I could possibly remember in my coming post..
After my medical on 16 march, I was coming back to Calcutta. After my hunt in the book shops in Mukherjee Nagar and purchasing few books for prelims, because I do not consider myself to be worthy and lucky enough to get the all India rank in my first attempt especially the merit I saw in the other aspirants!!
While coming back from Delhi, I wrote something after observing a particular scene from the train..
We have often heard that parallel lines
doesn’t join each other, its not
in their fate.. People often believe in this
and don’t try to achieve what apparently looks like an impossibility..
Look at this railway track. Lines seems to be never going to meet again.. But in reality, its only the correct time which makes the difference ….
Witness the beauty of destroying
of what is called impossible……I am
just waiting for the correct time
when I would be able to meet her up
someday with my heart open….
Loads of love and respect for her 🙂
P.S. pictures are clicked by myself.. Just an attempt to capture few lovely moments… That’s all… !!