I would like to share something with you all, something that may not sound sane, but trust me, it gave me a peculiar kind of happiness and strength..
Day before yesterday, i.e. on 10 may, 2016 the Union Public Service Commission declared the final list of successful candidates for the posts of civil services and allied services.. and I could not trace my name.
My teacher called me from Delhi to inform me that the results have been declared and I said, ” sir, I am sorry, I couldn’t make it to the list. My teachers especially Pandey sir, and Pathi sir were a constant support and showered their love and kindness. They forced me to take up this challenge once more as this was my first attempt ..
I was certainly upset, but as time went on I realized that what I gained from it.
This failure has given me an opportunity to understand where I went wrong and to know by whom I am surrounded with..
Later, I came to know four of my friends cleared it, Misha Singh, Rahul Ratnam Pandey, Srikant Mallale, and Harsh Vardhan Agarwal. Each one of them called me thrice since the marks were disclosed and I felt really happy. The cut off was 877 and my score was 870.. Life happens!!
I asked life, why you are so so difficult, life smiled and replied, C’mon, you people never appreciate easy things!!
I was broken into pieces after the effort and hardships I had gone through. Then I thought, I might have expected a lot from life… Be it the professional choice, be it the girl I love…. Ohhhh!!
Why I forget that not every place where I fit in is where I belong to ..
I waited for her call thinking that at least now she will call or at least text something that will bring a smile on my face… Oh.. Again I am expecting a lot more… Life said, ” why do you expect so much” I said am sorry .. I Won’t repeat it!!
But the people who always used to be criticize Rahul, Harsh for their being repeating their attempts , suddenly made great comments and actually created Whatsapp groups to celebrate.
Rahul and Misha called me yesterday to express their pain to witness this double standard.. I said nothing but a “humm”… Not intending to criticize instead want to express my greetings to those who finally showed up with their “self”… Thank you 🙂
I understood and realized life.. Today, the mark sheet came out and got more than 17 calls from Rahul, Harsh saying that they have scored less marks in the interview than me… & said that they are going to come to Kolkata this weekend to organize a small party to celebrate my failure…
I agreed .. I thought, it’s the best way to treat failure.. and to be honest it has given me something so important in life that such one failure is actually nothing.
“ghaate ka sauda nai huya”
One idea that came in my mind, that the world will not going to change with opinions but it will certainly going tho change with examples..
Want to dedicate to this post to some of those who actually taught me what friendship is all about.. It is not certainly as I was made to understand by someone very recently that be with someone until when the other person like your company and then you can move out.. Oh..god.. !!!
The names are not names per se, they are my pride.. Aditya, Srivats, Harsh, Ashish, Anshul, Udayan, Rahul, Isha, Fatima, Ittisha ,Chetna, Kamayani, Anusha, Aishwarya, Jennifer, and Bhavya … Wish I could add at least another name....
The most terrible poverty is loneliness,
and the feeling of being unloved..I just pray to god that this should not be the ultimate fate of this civilization which we all are so proud of..
Problems are not problems pet se, they are just the result of some problems..
It is actually very easy to say that we need to stand up together, we need to be compassionate, but unfortunately we humans are a meaning making species..
Helping others is actually a later stage, we need tho learn the importance of forgiveness… Why can’t we forgive?
Trust me time will pass and we will realize it later..
Just don’t wait… thinking who will bell the cat…. Every moment is crucial !!
I will be waiting to be forgiven for making someone cry who instead taught me the importance of life.. Who stood my side and made me laugh.. and she didn’t even realized it !!!
However, in between this mess, something good happened.. I got a call from the Calcutta University Dean law campus, that my dissertation is going to be published in the Calcutta law Journal as a separate copy… They want my permission to know whether I have already given the same to some other publishers or not… I gave the consent… And my first work is with me..
Life happens.. I wrote ” my transcripts ”
When I enjoyed the situation of being selected for the interview round.. And this post is tho celebrate my failure.
Success and failure are just phases.. What I am bothered about is my character and not my reputation.. My reputation is who people think I am, but my character is who I know, I am !!!
Loads of love and respect tho my love!!