Small Steps Towards A Dignified Life !!

​Hello dear bloggers…

Today I want to share one issue which has been bothering me for years and which I’m sure many of us would agree to it especially when we all live in a society where right based issues are often neglected and covered behind the veil of gender discriminations, be it temple entry during periods or during traveling in a train or local buses.. the trust deficit issues are bound to happen along with severe mental trauma which is a growing challenge among the doctors especially dealing with the youth…

It is true that across the world masculine gazes seeks to grab the female form in particular imaginations…. Which are clearly linked to state power, cultural assertions or ideological change and revolution… 

Women are policed physically and sexually through what they wear especially in the patriarchal society we live in where only the male member can exert power over female body….which is linked to him by blood or marriage….

The other extreme can be seen in the western country were women are allowed to strip as a part of a much needed sexual revolution… 

In both the cases, what is painful is that the purpose of being a female has been reduced to a commodity… !!! 

Yes, a commodity which is still vulnerable even in the capital city, and in the daylight.. the cases of acid attacks and rapes are rampant… this is a fact.. be it inside a public park or a bus stand..or be it inside their own house…!!

A women’s body has become a battlefield where wars of doctrines are being fought… The female form is collateral damage in this larger war where choice is no longer something where a women actively chooses, but her choice becomes residual, a casualty of a larger political battle.. !!!

Reading a judgement of Shamim Ara  v. State of U.P, 2002, and there are subsequent many high court orders which rendered the egregious practice that many Muslim men employ to divorce their wives instantaneously and without their consent merely by uttering the word “talaq” thrice as invalid.. 

Why am I writing this case… it’s because I had a interviewed around 25 muslim women randomly in and around U.P. Delhi and Dehradon in the last few weeks and I was close to tears when I heard their stories…  many of them had undergone severe mental trauma after being thrown out of their homes… 

Shyara Bano, one such victim of this arbitrary custom… not to speak out of years of mental and domestic violence.. later she filed an PIL before the SC. seeking a ban to this practice… however in a counter affidavit the AIMPLB had defended the practice in terms that are terrifying even by its own standards.. It claimed that this custom is a way to avoid the long running court/ judicial proceedings and that in the absence of this custom, a husband may resort to murdering or burying alive his own wife due to the time consuming procedure of the court… 

Had I born during the era when the sati system under the Hindu law was prevailing.. I would have raised my voice the same way as I am raising it now.. Fortunately, with laws and regulations such heinous practice of killing got abolished at least on papers.

In this context, I would like to share the story of an unsung hero…. the strength that played a crucial role behind what Gautam Buddha is today.. the sacrifice she did was seldom recognised, yes I am talking about his wife..

I strongly believe that if today a man after spending a year or so with his wife and after impregnating her leaves her and all the property in search of truth… the wife would file a suit for alimony without fail.. which she didn’t. But unfortunately didn’t get her dues…

I have read the Quran, its english version during my university days wherein there is no sanction for triple talaq.. it had laid down elaborate injunctions on divorce.. 

Quoran even grant equal rights to the husband and wife to pursue divorce proceedings and such right to equality is also granted under our constitution.

Practices under personal laws ( be it any personal law) , the appex court and Parliament must take stands for the stands of equality and dignity of women

Celebrating eid  through video chat with a dear friend of mine Fatima who is in Boston we were discussing about it and then we realised that women do face number of issues in their daily lives which we men cannot even think.. it’s because of we men that leaves an impact on their lives mostly in a negative way.. 

I still believe that  we all should come together to criticise sense talk about issues openly without fear and there will be many people in our support in the cause of equality…

Tiny steps towards this cause may provide many women a dignified life which they deserve instead of being treated as chattel..!!

Loads of love and respect for her Beparvah !!!
P.S. I have written this only to express that women are often abused and taken for granted irrespective of their religion, caste, creed, place of birth except few states in north east… (I am deliberately avoiding Kerala). The main idea is raise the voice of dissent because a reasoned dissent often brings reforms. Finally I am sorry if I have hurt someone inadertantly through this post…  


25 thoughts on “Small Steps Towards A Dignified Life !!”

  1. Brilliantly written sir! But I have a question. Why did you deliberately neglect Kerala? Often people get swayed by the amount of literacy that the state boasts of.. but completely neglect the fact that it accounts for India’s most number of child marriages as per the census 2011. The state has its share of prejudices too :

    Thank you for writing this πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I understand your anger. I still think that is wrong that if it is a hot day a man can take his shirt off ,in a western country, and women can’t unless she covers her breasts. I think all genders should have the same choices and live in true equality. It shouldn’t be one gender can do one thing and the other can’t.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Every human is a combination of 100 trillion atoms and a soul.

    We are all equal, we should all be treated with equal respect and dignity.

    That is what I believe at least.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


    Liked by 3 people

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