Maybe It Was Just a Pause Between Us & Not a True Ending !!!

Hello everyone.. a special post from the camp.. hopefully you all will like it ..

Every time I read about this saint , I get to know a new dimension of life.. My faith in unconditional giving, and unconditional love gets cemented every time no matter how I being mocked or teased by my friends; no matter how they want me to learn and see things the way they do… 

One of the most important lesson that I have learned in the last 14 months is about true love.. it has enormous power to change the society and individuals at the same time.. 

If we truly love somebody, we will always be ready to wait for our love and to wait doesn’t imply a standstill. If I want to be a part of her future then I cannot sit on the sidelines … because one day would come when we will cross each other’s path again, it will be like two evolved people, because we’ve both been living our lives, learning the necessary lessons and staying open to all possibilities that comes in between our respective paths and journeys.

We may not be meant for one another- May be we are just one or few chapters together within our respective stories but the truth is, we really don’t know where life will lead us. And I will wait for my first love throughout my life and I would be faithful to my feelings forever notwithstanding to all oddities !!!

I don’t know what will happen in the spaces and time apart and maybe everything will change or maybe time won’t even come close to erasing the crimson thread of connection from my heart to her.. 

But the fact is, right now may not be the right time for us.It’s time  for her to go and work on some unfinished agendas which are close to her heart and for which she is passionate about and has been waiting for long.. Am fortunate enough to have few glimpses of it. 🙂 

I appreciate her choices as always even if they don’t currently include me, because what she is doing right now, she is doing for herself and that makes me proud of the woman who she is, whom I loved the most in my life…

At times I wish that I could say that I don’t understand why she is doing what she is doing—but the truth is that I do. And so that makes it somewhat easier for me to live parallel to her ..

I have seen how far she has come in this life, and makes me smile because I feel privileged to have known her through some of the changes and that to within a real story time.. While I know for sure that she is still battling with herself, but she is an incredible woman at the same time!!

Slightly out of context, but the purpose is to express what I feel whenever I look up to my love, the strength I receive from her, her eyes says it all, she is my hero who has been a constant support when I was all alone battling with my life; she is everything to me and I will try to make her proud in every possible way.
A friend of mine gave me this picture of maa Durga and said that the eternal God is on her way in this navratri…I will miss this puja season in kolkata but one thing I didn’t miss and that is to pray for my loved ones and certainly for her on the very first day..

During this festive mood, I am with my batch mates travelling various places with my boots on !! 

The road doesn’t end and I am getting used to it ..

When it comes to describe my love I can go on and on.. I can ramble  about the goodness of her heart, and how much she is for others, she will undoubtedly make this world a better place,  an awesome place to live in !! 

I will also contribute in my own way and try to make a better place and a much more secure place to sustain life with dignity. Although my tools will be little different from her.. She often uses her goodness and external strength.. she uses her smile and her unconditional helping hand to others..

I got my new tools but still I need her blessings, her support all the time..she is always in my dreams, in my mind.. which helps me to work on constantly towards my dream..

Earlier my side table used to have books along with a table light with my phone and spectacles.. but today I have something else..

Waiting in camp.. having lunch with my colleagues and seniors..  but I missed her especially when I saw some of her favorite dishes out here..

I am not going to try to change her mind, but I also won’t push myself away from her either. Because,  she is irreplaceable to my life, she is so very special in many ways

I hope that both of us will always be strong because neither one of us will need to be saved. 

The message to my love that I wanted to express through this post is that the only thing left to say is isn’t goodbye. But instead: when you are ready, I will be always there ..


Loads of love and respect               Beparvah

P.S. For the first time I tried to make a portrait and then edited it so that it can get recognized at least.. 

Soon will post about the public speaking and debates.. I am sorry for the delay.. 

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42 thoughts on “Maybe It Was Just a Pause Between Us & Not a True Ending !!!

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  1. Great post Chandrajit :). It is great sign that you take this phase so positively esp when you say that you have learnt your lessons from past..
    I dont know if you two have any common friends who could give you a glimpse of what is going on in her mind…or if she is reading this she should try to convey her thought process whether this book will have only few chapters in common or if you would together be shape the climax of the story…
    Nice portrait of mother teressa..how did you learn painting ?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much.. I am left with no words to describe my gratitude for your wishes.. it means a lot.. it’s the first thing I read today morning and it has made my day…

      I hope she will understand someday…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This brought tears in my eyes.. May be I am an emotional fool, vulnerable, tears have been my sole companion and my pillows can speak for it… but I am determined to my eternal feeling and no matter what I will stick to it … I have nothing to lose except this love which I have for her..

        Thank you so much.. I want to thank you with all sincerity .. ! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. How bravely you expressed
    ” I will wait for my first love throughout my life and I would be faithful to my feelings forever notwithstanding to all oddities ”
    having hard time and after losing though trying daily, ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you..
      It really means a lot when someone appreciates for this so called stubbornness.. often categorized as a foolish and mundane …

      But trust me it’s not that difficult.. in fact I am happily enjoying the live I carry for her.. I have no demands for any reciprocation.. I feel blessed that I am carrying love.. and prayers..

      🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can understand your situation, and it is really the most beautiful feeling to keep first love. Trying hard, but things are changing
        wish u very best stay awesome

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you.. 🙂
        I have left with no one in family who can force me to move on after my mother’s death.. so in that sense I think I will be able to hold and cherish this first love of mine always till I take my last breathe…

        Anna will pray for her health and success..

        Like

      3. Sorry for Mom.
        Wish no one force anyone
        15+ month of your wait and expression itself is wonderful, and I wrote sometime that it’s distance that make love powerful.
        keep cheering life ❤

        Like

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