Secret Sacrifices !!

When we love someone selflessly… we tend to sacrifice anything for them.. be it small or large… the preparedness of sacrificing for our loved ones secretly is what constitutes true love !!

As we grow old in life.. things are taken from us.. that’s part of life; but the willingness to fight and to contribute is what life is all about .. That’s the real success. No big bank accounts, and properties can actually be able to buy or purchase such relationships !!

Just a part of an anecdote..- I remember that one mysterious box hidden deep in my mom’s almirah … she used to keep that with herself always as if she was holding her lifelong savings.. After I lost my mother, I found that treasure which she  use to held.. A faded rose on the lid.. where her name etched on the rim… and now after all these years, I can see her secret sacrifices stored inside it!!

I remember those moments when I could hear the jingling sound of coins along with her sighs as she used to walk to the market, saving on the bus fare.. 

I remember when she told me to take care of that box while she was being taken to the hospital for the last time , believing that she would come back soon… 

Later after her death I found a letter n that she wrote to my would be wife, one ring which she wanted to give to her daughter in law and some old notes attained with her sweat as she juddled being a part time music teacher, a full time homemaker, and most importantly a non-stop mother !!!

Sitting here in Kashmir.. I miss my family.. my dad, my elder sister.. and the girl whom I loved the most.. I hope they are fine.. I always pray for them because that is what I can do from here at this point of time…I miss them a lot..  All of them are staying in different parts of the country.. from south, to north and to the east of India struggling with their own lives.. I’m sure that everything will be fine very soon…

I learned the lessons of sacrifices, the way to respect people, understood the core values of love… all from my family and especially from maa.. it is also true that after I lost my mother, I was not having a good relationship with my family but since I met my love..I was made to realize what family actually matters!! 

Based on this very  little understanding I would like to say that..it’s really difficult to stay away from family and from our loved ones.. it is also true that with time we manage.. but this habit cannot be a substitute… this is not the freedom I wanted to have.. I wanted someone to scold me and someone to pamper me at the same time!!

This has changed my life but it has only charged the lifestyle and not changed me per se.. I am still that stupid, stubborn guy who still manage to take some time where I go out to pray for my loved ones..

Still manage to get some secluded places where I cry for that girl.. whom I loved with all my heart… and always wonder about her daily struggle… I just want to tell her that I am always there for her.. no matter what the distance is!!

Moving around with my bike during my free time.. living a very professional life here.. all alone… except my family’s blessings and the love that I carry for her.. these two things completes me !!

I just wanted to thank the almighty for being the best accountant .. for being so fair and just.. you took away my mother but you have given me her eternal essence which is never going to fade.. you blessed me with this family .. and this girl.. who is simply the best human soul I have ever met.. only because of her simplicity and honesty !!

Loads of love and respect for my family and for her …

Beparvah !!

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27 thoughts on “Secret Sacrifices !!

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  1. I think instead of sacrifices they can be called acts of love. It is true there are many acts of love in relationship. To have the deepest relationship with your partner the acts of love are effortless. There is a knowing there and the relationship is deep where one can term it a twinflame or soulmate. I had such a relationship where we argued twice in 23 years. My partner passed last year and there will be always an ache and a longing. I know in my heart that will never change as it would have by now. You are lucky to have a mother like yours showing all the acts of love to you. Be well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you… yes she was..
      I believe every mother is as beautiful as she was.. because they make our lives special at every moment… they completes us… I miss her… she left this world and made me quite vulnerable !!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. They are irreplaceable… I have read somewhere a quote which goes like this ” I have seen god on the other side of my umbilical cord” ..
        Absolutely, she is with me always but often I miss her physical presence… her warmth especially when in an tired… the way she used to cuddle and pamper… I miss those eyes which often used to ask whether I had food or not, those hands which were always used for prayers… and so on..
        Thank you for acknowledging n liking this post… and the emotions in it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you… thank you so much
      But I don’t think that I would be able to continue this journey for long.. it’s really very painful… my eyes are tired… yet ready to shed tear drops.. with only one hope that someday she will understand me !!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you…. thank you so much… this is the best pain killer that I can think of .. especially lying in the district hospital !! Believing that she will understand someday… I am continuing this journey…. May be it is difficult for her too to carry this strong character !!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Your Mom was a beauty. But your pain has left me speechless. That line ‘this is not the freedom I wanted’… it brought me close to tears and made me feel how lucky I am to have my Mom still around. You’re one strong and morally upright human being. Your parents brought you up well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much… I miss her… the successive loss is unbearable.. May be it will end with myself… yes… this freedom where nobody is bothered about myself….
      I am extremely happy that thou felt it from your core… I hope and will pray that you may get maximum time with your mom… enjoy and value every moment…
      I miss her these days even more… May be this denial is what I deserve but I hope and pray to god that someday they would make that girl realize that someone loved her with everything he had..

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart !! I feel blessed to be surrounded by her eternal essence all the time !!

      Thank you so much for the unconditional love and care ..it really means a lot !! i will always preserve this !! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree in Toto. Loved this statement. It is the highest mark of respect to the mother, for all the difficulties she goes through with a beautiful smile and she hides behind her smile, her own deep pain and sorrow.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. it’s okay… your’re absolutely correct. I always believe that and probably that’s the reason I always look up to her picture, even talk to her in our own silent language… trying to keep her alive inside my heart !!

        Liked by 1 person

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