A Small Message From Anantnag Dist. Hospital !!

Still in district hospital under high monitoring and everyone believes that I can survive and so am I.. Doctor Rasheed even affirmed that there has been some improvements which was the only hope on which most of his juniors were relying on ..  Instead of being in a state of panic I was looking at the sky … waving to moon with a belief that she might be watching this moon  from her place !!

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It’s been two years almost but still I feel the same connect if not more ..  I often ask these questions to me as to why and how this is possible ? Is it the “male ego” that is playing its role or something genuine is in the making ? Is is the fact that I’m not able to “accept a rejection” or it is the undying love for someone ? Am I living a “selfish life” or a selfless life ?   Why I feel this connect even after being refused when she said that she need some  time and space?? 

I think this is an undying and selfless love which will only perish along with me and not before.I think this because with every passing moment I have started feeling a kind of divine connect to her soul; a place where there is no place for reciprocity. Whenever I think of her, a star falls from heaven..even the passion of sea for the sand surrenders before this stubborn heart !!

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We all have a very limited time here and there’s lot to cover and achieve..we all are in search of our identity rather in making our identity and to experience the feeling of fulfillment in life; I ‘m not an exception to this but she often used to tell me that one shouldn’t become a workaholic because that would create a world full of materials. She had her own definition of success and happiness.. and when it comes to my happiness, I cannot think of anything else but to write something for her…or to post some paintings which she used to love; which used to bring smile on her face because she knew how to appreciate art of any form…

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A small effort to erase all the mistakes I might have committed inadvertently; which are driven by strong emotions and the fear of losing a good friend at the first place.. I drew it way before this encounter as I was making a collage for her upcoming birthday !!

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These fallen leaves speaks volumes of memories, they speaks about those thousand moments of joy and happiness they had experienced when they used to be the part of the main parent tree.. Now they are no longer required..they are no longer attached.. From being a stranger to a friend and then back to become a stranger was a very difficult journey.. I know what it feels to become someone’s past.. it is really very painful; this pain is unbearable compare to the injuries I am carrying now .. but as I have realized that this is the ONLY NATURAL COURSE OF LIFE .. this cycle will go on… I have no regrets and will be carrying this pain because I cannot lose this divine feeling of love !!

I cannot afford to ignore her role in my life … she is everything to me and will remain one !! I don’t wanna let her go through any more pain in the years to come ..prayers and blessings will always be there for her… hope the day would come soon when my posts will reach to her someday !!

Loads of love and respect for her..
Beparvah !!

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16 thoughts on “A Small Message From Anantnag Dist. Hospital !!

Add yours

  1. lovely quote of Rumi –
    If you are irritated by every rub ,
    How can you be polished?

    this is the answer of all your question Chandra!!
    male ego, a rejection, selfish life ……..
    Best wishes!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank thou so much for this .
      Yes, you are absolutely correct and I believe that I will get my answers.. and my love for her well get cemented despite this long ongoing indifference !! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very very much.. in this path it was really necessary to have such unconditional blessing and wishes… as it often becomes really painful.. but I will stand by her always without any reciprocity !! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You think that I am sticking to my first love and I’ve decided to stay with the memories for the rest of my life alone is something driven my make ego and selfishness… ??
      I took your thought seriously and would think about my self… as to how can I be so selfish..!

      Like

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